Do I need to remind you that you brought him up to me? You could've lied, you could've said any other name, but you said his. [ In some way, he wants to talk about this—even if it's unconscious. ]
Being happy doesn't suddenly mean I stop being curious or giving a fuck. He's gotta be important to you for you to mention him. [ And that means it's important to her. Plus, how is she supposed to keep an eye out for his brother if she doesn't know anything?? ]
Ah yes, lying to your friends, a tradition of great standing. Either you'd find out and get mad, or I'd get to know I'm lying to you forever. [ Can't do that all the time, baby. Not that it's meant to be forever. What he's lied to Sharon about, even if it's been around a year, is only until he talks about them with Vash. Which. He will. In time. They're bad at talking about things, both of them. Unlike Sharon. ]
It'd be nice if being happy distracted you a moment longer. Not like what happened with Livio will get any less happened.
[ As if she'd get mad to find out he lied. Maybe she'd be a little disappointed, maybe a little hurt (as if she'd tell him), but she'd get over it. She knows sometimes you need to lie. ]
Happiness doesn't distract me from anything, Wolfwood. [ Let alone when it comes to someone she cares about. ] I let it go yesterday because it made sense. I'm sure you didn't want my mom to hear.
[ Wolfwood stares, annoyed and cared for. Sharon's something else, though the way she doesn't give up on anything reminds him of Livio, for all Livio was a giant crybaby. ]
No. Don't really want anyone to hear. [ He pulls out a smoke, closes his eyes, and tries not to think about smoking worms on the orphanage roof with Livio. Dumb stuff, but it lives in his memories. ] Smart people know to look the other way and to move on once those people get their hands on someone. Once they've noticed someone, that's it. Your future's solid as stone.
Yeah, them. [ Wolfwood sighs. ] After they took me, Livio followed after me. Volunteered to take my spot, whatever that meant. He didn't know. I'd refused until then, but that's when I made the deal. I agreed to become a killer, but they had to let Livio go.
[ It feels like getting his heart ripped out again. ]
[ That's not quite the story she was expecting. The final sentence nails home just how awful it was. Why would they let him go when they found Wolfwood's weakness?
She'd made a similar offer to Claudia but that bitch was too stupid to lie. ]
Shit. [ Hushed. ] Did they turn him into a killer or...?
[ You know it's a rough topic when someone brings out the liquor. ]
He could've still been in there somewhere. The mind can do some pretty powerful shit when you need to protect yourself. [ Not that the knowledge is any help. ] Maybe he found a way to protect the part of himself that knew you.
[ Wolfwood plays over the last time he saw Livio again. Trying to stop the fight between him and Vash. Trying to reach out to him, to see any sign his brother recognized him. Tryingβ
And failing. ] It doesn't matter now. He's dead. He lost everything following after me. Up to and including his life.
[ There's enough anger and hurt to go around, and some of that is for himself. What he failed to do. Sharon doesn't understand entirely. She can't when he hasn't told her the whole truth about how it happened. She doesn't know Livio was just a little kid when they got their hands on him, and it's all the worse for that. ]
I'm sorry, Wolfwood. [ Softly and somewhat mournful. ] I don't think you should blame yourself, though. It's not like you could've stopped him from following after you.
[ Ultimately, Livio made his choices no matter how much he didn't deserve what happened because of them. ]
I'm his big brother! [ It's shouted, angrily, prickly and mean. Beneath all that, hurt, from a place of pain. He cannot believe Livio followed him. He cannot believe the orphanage allowed it. The same orphanage that allowed him to be taken. The only adults who ever helped him, and they letβ
He long stopped expecting much for himself. They should have protected Livio. He should have protected Livio or never taken him under his wing in the first place. Then he could have lived a normal life. ]
[ The anger catches her off-guard and she physically flinches away from her Relic, heart twinging in her chest. She will never be able to fully understand Wolfwood's feelings here. She's never been in a situation like that. ]
You needed saving as much as he did. [ She says it sympathetically. He wasn't in any position to save Livio and that wasn't due to any fault of his own. ]
I get that chance. I get to be saved. [ He hates it in that moment. He wants to tear out the grace and kindness he's been shown, to reject what Vash and Sharon have done, if only it gave Livio the chance to be saved. He'd switch places in a heartbeat. He doesn't want to die. He's done a lot not to die, but Livioβ
It's the habit of not wasting anything, alcohol not being counted on to come again, that prevents him from smashing the bottle and spilling glass and booze around him. He can still see it happen. ] I was right there, and I couldn't save him.
[ Did Livio remember? Not be able to live with himself? By trying to save him did he damn him? There's no good answer. Thinking about it only makes him feel guiltier. ]
[ She wants to tell him that life isn't fair but Wolfwood already knows that. If it were, he'd have never ended up in such a shit situation to begin with. Life isn't fair and it fucking sucks. ]
That doesn't make it your fault. You know that, right?
[ Everything about that day on the steamer was the worst possible thing for him. Of all the people to go after Vash. Of all the places for the steamer to crash into. It was the worst possible thing. Vash pulled off a miracle. They saved the orphanage. He doesn't know what he would've done if they failed at that. It was one crisis after another at that point until Folkmore. Until everything could be shoved away.
No one saved Livio. Livio died, and there was nothingβ ]
That doesn't, but it was my fault. I'm the reason he's dead.
How so? [ This seems like something he needs to work through. The only ones truly at fault are those who shattered Livio, the ones who molded him into a killer. The people that used them both. ]
[ Wolfwood doesn't say anything for a while. He drinks, and he shifts so the relic is out of sight, but it's there. Sharon's there. The question's there. ]
He only died because I tried to save him. I don't want to talk about it.
[ Sharon knows when to push a subject and when to let it go. The door on it has been opened, they can come back to this later when Wolfwood is ready. ]
That's fine. [ There's a long silence on her end as she weighs what she wants to say next. ] You okay?
[ It's almost disappointing Sharon lets it be, not because he wants to be pushed to talk about it but because it'd provide an excuse to snap and yell and shout and let loose the shit he's feeling on someone else. It's a bad instinct. It wouldn't help anything, and he'd feel guilty later.
He sits there in the empty treehouse and leans his head back. He shouldn't have opened that can of worms. Better to let it sit. ]
I mean, it could've been worse. I could've insisted we did this in person. [ And it would've been a very different conversation in person. It would've at least come with a hug, though. ]
[ Wolfwood groans. In person would be worse. Sharon wouldn't only hear how shit he feels but see it all over him. She'd watch him drink and maybe try to pull the bottle away from him. No, no, better they did it like this. ]
Small blessings. Far less likely if we lived in the same neighborhood.
No, no, we're not moving Vash away from his special plant friends here. I've been here over a year. It's plainly not happening.
[ As if Wolfwood would live in a treehouse for any other reason. He did not choose this housing for the setting. It beats Cruel Summer, sure, but that's not saying much. ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
Being happy doesn't suddenly mean I stop being curious or giving a fuck. He's gotta be important to you for you to mention him. [ And that means it's important to her. Plus, how is she supposed to keep an eye out for his brother if she doesn't know anything?? ]
no subject
It'd be nice if being happy distracted you a moment longer. Not like what happened with Livio will get any less happened.
no subject
Happiness doesn't distract me from anything, Wolfwood. [ Let alone when it comes to someone she cares about. ] I let it go yesterday because it made sense. I'm sure you didn't want my mom to hear.
no subject
No. Don't really want anyone to hear. [ He pulls out a smoke, closes his eyes, and tries not to think about smoking worms on the orphanage roof with Livio. Dumb stuff, but it lives in his memories. ] Smart people know to look the other way and to move on once those people get their hands on someone. Once they've noticed someone, that's it. Your future's solid as stone.
no subject
no subject
[ It feels like getting his heart ripped out again. ]
They didn't let him go.
no subject
She'd made a similar offer to Claudia but that bitch was too stupid to lie. ]
Shit. [ Hushed. ] Did they turn him into a killer or...?
no subject
[ Wolfwood gets a bottle of alcohol and drinks a good portion of it. ]
He didn't even recognize me anymore.
no subject
He could've still been in there somewhere. The mind can do some pretty powerful shit when you need to protect yourself. [ Not that the knowledge is any help. ] Maybe he found a way to protect the part of himself that knew you.
no subject
And failing. ] It doesn't matter now. He's dead. He lost everything following after me. Up to and including his life.
[ There's enough anger and hurt to go around, and some of that is for himself. What he failed to do. Sharon doesn't understand entirely. She can't when he hasn't told her the whole truth about how it happened. She doesn't know Livio was just a little kid when they got their hands on him, and it's all the worse for that. ]
no subject
[ Ultimately, Livio made his choices no matter how much he didn't deserve what happened because of them. ]
no subject
He long stopped expecting much for himself. They should have protected Livio. He should have protected Livio or never taken him under his wing in the first place. Then he could have lived a normal life. ]
I should have saved him.
no subject
You needed saving as much as he did. [ She says it sympathetically. He wasn't in any position to save Livio and that wasn't due to any fault of his own. ]
no subject
It's the habit of not wasting anything, alcohol not being counted on to come again, that prevents him from smashing the bottle and spilling glass and booze around him. He can still see it happen. ] I was right there, and I couldn't save him.
[ Did Livio remember? Not be able to live with himself? By trying to save him did he damn him? There's no good answer. Thinking about it only makes him feel guiltier. ]
no subject
That doesn't make it your fault. You know that, right?
no subject
No one saved Livio. Livio died, and there was nothingβ ]
That doesn't, but it was my fault. I'm the reason he's dead.
no subject
no subject
He only died because I tried to save him. I don't want to talk about it.
no subject
That's fine. [ There's a long silence on her end as she weighs what she wants to say next. ] You okay?
no subject
He sits there in the empty treehouse and leans his head back. He shouldn't have opened that can of worms. Better to let it sit. ]
Oh, I'm great. [ Obvious sarcasm. ]
no subject
no subject
Small blessings. Far less likely if we lived in the same neighborhood.
no subject
no subject
[ As if Wolfwood would live in a treehouse for any other reason. He did not choose this housing for the setting. It beats Cruel Summer, sure, but that's not saying much. ]
no subject
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)